My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
