I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
