i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize