I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
