Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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