Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
