I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
