last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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