I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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