Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
