I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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