Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize