If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
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