my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
How does one acquire holy water?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
