Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
