The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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