They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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