How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
