I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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