weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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