he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
