Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize