I could have mohawked her pubes.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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