you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize