The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize