Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
