Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Rumble strips road head = magical
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
