hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
