Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
