we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
