Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
