You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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