Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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