i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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