We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
