You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
