I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
