it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
