I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
