if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
