Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
