He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
