we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize