Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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