Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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