well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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