Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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