Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
