Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
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