so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
