I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
