we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
