Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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