Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
