The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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