The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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