I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
