i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
