How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
