Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You ate ashes out of my bong
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
