Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
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