Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
