stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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