U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
