I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize